When my 12-year old daughter’s Game Boy appears to be attached to her palms for too long, I simply cry “Uncle!” Not because I’m giving in, but for inspiration. It helps me recall the hours spent playing game after game of rummy with my uncle. I learned to tally points; listened to his jokes and stories of the old days; discovered that the Great Depression was not a mental disorder; and perhaps, most significantly, faced a worthy opponent who insisted we play by the rules, but still managed to keep it fun. All without the ubiquitous beeps and buzzes of video games.
Granted, entertainment is more super-charged now than three decades ago. Kids, especially the older ones, have been encouraged to expect interactive buttons, special effects and a blazing soundtrack wherever they go. So don’t get discouraged if they proclaim, echoing Alice’s last words in Wonderland, “You’re nothing but a pack of cards!” Just soldier on, trusting the versatility, and yes, sophistication, of card games. You just may be able to vanquish (at least for a time) those video vampires that have your grandkids so entranced.
Here are a few ideas to help get them to the table and keep them engaged. Keep in mind that there are variations on almost all card games, but these ideas will be enough get you started.
The Set-Up: Consider Props
Kids love accessories. So spend a few minutes prepping the table to make it inviting. My parents do it up big when their grandkids -- ages 7 to 16 -- come to play. They lay out the pads on the dining room table with the green felt-side showing, creating that casino-look. They take out their mechanical, battery-operated card shuffler, put out snacks (sometimes healthy; sometimes not) in decorative baskets and provide drinks in squat, kid-friendly glasses. I take a more minimalist approach, but still use items my daughter finds intriguing: accounting or graph paper and a clipboard. Then, I let her keep score, something most youngsters relish doing.
Rummy
Start simple and build. Many card games have been modified countless times over the years, providing a ready stockpile of variations to occupy even those with short attention-spans. Hoyle Up-to-Date lists 12 variations on basic rummy (for example, contract rummy, 500, knock rummy, gin rummy) and that’s without the more far-flung off-shoots like canasta. The basic game is played by dealing ten cards to each player. The goal is to get melds (three or more cards of the same rank) and/or sequences (three or more cards in one suit). Players take turns drawing cards from the stock pile in the middle, discarding a card if taking a new one from the top of the stock. The first to get his entire hand into melds and/or sequences wins.
21
This game has just enough edge to keep the tweens at the table and helps younger kids with their addition skills. The object of the game is to hold two or more cards that total 21, or get close to 21, without going over. Cards are valued as follows: Ace, 1 or 11, as the holder chooses; king, queen, jack, are 10 each; every other card, equals its number. So, an ace and a face card add up to 21. To start, volunteer to serve as dealer, then deal two cards to each player (including you), one face up, the other face down. Each child, in turn, decides whether to pass on additional cards, using the word “stick,” or accept an additional card or cards by saying, “hit.” All additional cards are dealt face up. If an additional card puts the player’s count over 21, he loses. Once everyone, except you, the dealer, has either stuck or gone over 21, you turn up your face-down card and take additional cards as long as your total is 16 or less. When you reach 17 or more, you must stick. If you go over 21, the grandkids win. Once your grandchild understands the game, let him be the dealer.
Hearts
Older grandchildren will want games requiring strategy. In the game hearts, for example, four players initially avoid hearts which carry penalty points (one point each) and the queen of spades, which carries thirteen points. Once a player has taken a heart, however, she now tries to “paint” the other players (make them get hearts), or win all the hearts herself plus the queen of spades, a feat called “shooting the moon.”
99
Often grandparents will be the single best source of card games. Recently, my uncle introduced me to an adding game called 99 (yes, we’re still playing). Cards are played to a single pile, the object being to avoid the target score of 99. Each player is dealt four cards. Remaining cards are placed in the center of the table, face down, to form a stock. Players play their cards face-up, forming a pile alongside the stock. Play begins at zero and played cards affect the value of the pile as follows: ace to eight, increase the total according to their value; face cards, increase the total by ten. Other cards have special significance: Tens reduce the total by ten; fours reverse play back to the previous player; nines are a zero, allowing the previous value to stay as the new value; and kings, automatically bring the total to 99. The person who brings the total to more than 99 loses.
Deciding Whether to Up-the-Ante
In this age of televised high-stakes poker, some may want to add a betting component to the game. Don’t. “Grandparents should never teach a child how to bet,” says Annette Carrierre, gambling therapist at the Williamsville Wellness residential treatment center in Hanover, Virginia. “This would be along the same lines as teaching your grandchild how to drink or smoke.” Carrierre, a grandmother herself, adds that such “lessons” bring with them a high risk of long term, detrimental behavior and compulsion. “I had an 8-year-old client betting at school for other kids’ lunch money and video games because his family taught him about betting. Gambling should never be part of a card game with grandchildren.” That’s not to say that the subject matter of betting and gambling is off limits. Carrierre said that gambling should be talked about in the same manner one would discuss alcohol. “Tell them that it's a form of adult entertainment. I would not teach children details on how the betting process works anymore than I would teach them the proper way to make a margarita.”
Lessons for Life
Take advantage of lulls in play to share life stories and to find out about your grandkids’ school, friends, favorite books and (dare I say it!) video games. You may even want to prepare a few stories and questions in advance to help the conversation flow. And don’t be shy about warning grandkids of the realities of card scams, like three-card monte. Bring the point home by showing the 1973 film classic The Sting, and talk to youngsters about the glamour, glitz and inevitable gloom of gambling and con artists. And as for that running electronic soundtrack, take turns playing some favorite songs in the background during card games. You’ll both learn more about each other and grow closer in the process.
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