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Get Connected
by Judy DeMocker
Better ways for busy grandparents to stay in touch with their grandkids
Sandy Berger is a grandmother in Pinehurst, N.C., who runs Compukiss, a tech Web site, and is dedicated to staying involved in the lives of her three grandchildren. Despite the fact that her 6-year-old grandchild lives in Palm Coast, F.L., and the other two, ages 2 and 3, reside in Stockholm, Sweden, Berger says, “I talk to each of my grandchildren every day.”
Many grandparents are intent on staying close to their grandchildren and becoming an integral part of their lives, despite their busy work schedules and long distances between them. Though technology is making communication much easier, becoming part of a grandchild’s life still requires a concerted effort and close communication with the grandkids’ parents.
Berger uses Google Talk and Skype (which has video capabilities), free Internet services, to speak to her grandchildren daily and see them via her Web camera. Because she also connected a microphone and speakers to her computer, the vocal quality is first-rate. Berger says Internet phone service saves her about $100 a month, and she doesn’t have to worry about the costs of extended phone conversations.
“Last night, my granddaughter in Stockholm showed me her new pants with a decal of Mickey Mouse on her rear. She was prancing in front of the computer camera,” Berger says, exuding the closeness that she feels from knowing the daily permutations of her grandchild’s life.
As Americans become increasingly mobile, long distances often separate grandparents and grandchildren. An AARP study revealed that 45 percent of grandparents live more than 200 miles away from their grandchildren, notes Amy Goyer, national coordinator of the grandparent information center at the AARP Foundation. Since grandparents are continuing to work into their 60s, most grandparents only have time for semi-annual or annual visits.
Technologically inclined grandparents can easily stay in touch with grandchildren through daily e-mails, Web cams, and digital photos, Goyer notes. But she advises grandparents to go beyond the “How was your day?” e-mail, which can get stale and stultifying day after day.
“Play games together online, such as video, card and computer games,” says Goyer. That creates shared experiences between grandparent and grandchild, fodder for conversation, and commonalities.
If the grandparent is not computer-savvy, shared experiences can still play a role. Grandparents can read sections of “Harry Potter” or other favorite children’s novels over the telephone, or even make a tape recording that the parents can play at night to help the grandchild go to sleep.
Not being online or owning a computer shouldn’t be a hindrance to staying in close contact with grandchildren. The old-fashioned telephone can work as a tool to communicate, and some grandparents even opt for the anachronistic method of writing letters, a long-lost art form.
One essential factor for grandparents who want to overcome distance and stay involved in their grandchild’s life is communicating closely with their children, the grandchildren’s parents. “Grandparents and grandchildren won’t form much of a relationship without parents helping out, especially with younger children,” Goyer says.
Parents can keep the grandparents abreast of the grandchild’s activities. If the parents inform Grandpa or Grandma of the grandchild’s soccer game or important math test, grandparents can call and inquire how the things went.
Goyer recalls one grandmother who lived in Ohio but was committed to staying close to her grandchildren in North Carolina. She arranged her job so she could telecommute a couple of days a week and would visit her grandchildren monthly. The grandmother also created a Web site, which she used to post photos of her visits with her grandchildren to stay close to them. Despite the distance between them, this grandmother was an active presence in her grandchildren’s lives.
Nothing replaces face-to-face visits, of course, but following up can deepen the experience. For example, if the grandparents have visited their grandchildren, the grandparents can make a scrapbook of their visit together and send it to their loved ones. “Anything the grandparent can do to make the visit not just a one-time thing, but turned into memories, goes a long way,” Goyer says.
Many grandparents pamper their grandchildren by buying presents, but Goyer warns that gift-giving can also be a trap. She advises grandparents to confer with the parents to make sure they are in agreement with the gifts. “What’s acceptable to one parent may be too much for another,” Goyer notes. Some parents try to downplay commercialism, limit their child’s video games, and stress educational games or books.
While many grandparents dote on their grandchildren and try to be sensitive to their needs, grandparents are also encouraged to share part of themselves. Says Berger, “Focus on something you love and share it with your grandchildren — a favorite hobby or avocation.”
Getting involved with grandchildren also helps the grandparents. “It can provide grandparents with an important focus in their life. Connecting the child to their roots or heritage enhances the grandparents’ legacy,” says Lillian Carson, author of “The Essential Grandparent: A Guide to Making a Difference.”
Grandparents offer a different level of acceptance than parents, who must focus on discipline. “Children benefit the most from having caring adults in their life that pay attention to them, show interest, and listen to them. These actions show the child that the child is loved and cared about. It strengthens their sense of self,” Goyer says.
What’s the secret to how busy grandparents can stay close to grandkids who may live far from them? Berger says, “It boils down to love in the long run, doesn’t it? When you love somebody, you find ways to stay in touch and communicate.” Lillian Carson adds, “Grandparents showing up is most critical.” And Woody Allen once said that 90 percent of success is showing up.
Grandparent Resources
The Grandparent Guide: The Definitive Guide to Coping with the Challenges of Modern Grandparenting by Arthur Kornhaber (Contemporary Books, 2002)
The Nanas and the Papas: A Boomer’s Guide to Grandparenting by Kathryn and Allan Zullo (Andrews McMeel Publishing, 1998)
Or, e-mail the AARP Grandparent Information Center at gic@aarp.org.
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34 Answers
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A)Hold up, what's wrong with the phone?
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B)Give more gifts. That works.
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C)Where can I pick up a Web camera?
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| These are all wonderful suggestions - I have also found a site which let's grandparents be a part,not apart from their their grandchildren's life. www.grandparentgames.com.
I have included information below and the website address is www.grandparentgames.com. If you are interested in an article by Dr. Schank that further explores the role of grandparents in today's society please let me know. Jennifer Forbes 330-842-0551 jeforbescom@gmail.com Media Contacts: Jennifer Forbes 330-842-0551 jeforbescom@gmail.com Megan Webb 716.573.9556 meganwebb8@gmail.com Distinguished Educator Launches Interactive Web site for Grandparents to Interact with their Grandchildren Grandparent Games offers families a new learning resource to connect online. Stuart, Fla., July 1, 2008—Dr. Roger Schank, respected educator and most importantly, a grandparent, announces the launch of Grandparent Games. Grandparent Games is the only interactive resource offering grandparents with grandchildren under the age of three a place to communicate and interact together online. Easy set up and navigation makes Grandparent Games accessible to even those with limited computer skills. Via a secure Web site and easy-to-use web-based video and voice connection, Grandparent Games enables grandparents and grandchildren to be a part, not apart from one another’s lives. Providing one-on-one time to “play” together regardless of distance, the interactive site offers grandparents of babies/infants a way to interact through pictures and sounds. Then over time affords a learning source for young children as the grandparent direct the experience and become the teacher of vital information including math, reading, and geography. “In our increasingly mobile and far-flung society, grandparents and grandchildren frequently live miles, states, and even countries apart,” said Schank. “That’s where the internet comes into play. Grandparent Games gives grandparents the ability to be an intricate part of their grandchildren’s lives, almost as if they were together.” -more- GG page 2/2 Grandparent Games is a safe, protected site. All user-provided information is sent over an https connection, ensuring the data is secure. The site is structured for children to interact their grandparents by supplying only two pieces of information—the grandparent’s e-mail address and a display name that will be shown only to the grandparent during the meeting. The educational site uses exciting animations, pictures and videos to engage children from infancy through early grade school. Grandparent Games offers a variety of fun, interactive, and instructive activities including: . o Pictures for Little Ones—Moving objects that capture babies’ attention and make them laugh o Alphabet Fun—Children learn letters as they watch alphabet animations. o Reading Games—Animations and games expose children to fundamental reading activities like consonant-vowel-consonant combinations and beginning and ending letter sounds. o Math Games—Animations help children learn numbers, counting, addition, subtraction and simple multiplication. o Explore the World—Adults and children can explore the U.S. together with an interactive map, or visit Kidtown where grandparents can take their grandchildren to a virtual aquarium, zoo, concert hall, park, port, among other places. o Interactive Games—Children and adults can draw, type and challenge each other to a game of checkers. Grandparents and parents of young children can sign-up today for Grandparent Games and receive a free 30 day trial. Grandparents can stay connected for $9.95 per month or $75.00 a year. For more information visit http://www.grandparentgames.com. ### About Dr. Roger Schank Dr. Roger Schank is a grandparent, well-respected educator, and creator of Grandparent Games. Utilizing his extensive experience in learning sciences, he founded the renowned Institute for the Learning Sciences at Northwestern University, where he is currently the John P. Evans Professor Emeritus in Computer Science, Education and Psychology. In 1994, he founded Cognitive Arts Corporation, a company that designs and builds superior multimedia simulations for use in corporate training and for online university-level courses. In 2002, he founded Socratic Arts, a company devoted to making high quality e-learning affordable for both businesses and schools. Dr. Schank has taught at numerous illustrious universities throughout his career including Yale, Stanford, Carnegie Mellon, and the University of Paris VII. He was also a research fellow at the Institute for Semantics and Cognition in Switzerland. Dr. Schank holds a Ph.D. in Linguistics from University of Texas and is the author of more than 20 books on learning, language, artificial intelligence, education, memory, reading, e-learning, and story telling. He is also a fellow of the Association for the Advancement of Artificial Intelligence (AAAI) and is founder of the Cognitive Science Society and co-founder of the Journal of Cognitive Science. ###
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| These are all wonderful suggestions - I have also found a site which let's grandparents be a part,not apart from their their grandchildren's life. www.grandparentgames.com.
I have included information below and the website address is www.grandparentgames.com. If you are interested in an article by Dr. Schank that further explores the role of grandparents in today's society please let me know. Jennifer Forbes 330-842-0551 jeforbescom@gmail.com Media Contacts: Jennifer Forbes 330-842-0551 jeforbescom@gmail.com Megan Webb 716.573.9556 meganwebb8@gmail.com Distinguished Educator Launches Interactive Web site for Grandparents to Interact with their Grandchildren Grandparent Games offers families a new learning resource to connect online. Stuart, Fla., July 1, 2008—Dr. Roger Schank, respected educator and most importantly, a grandparent, announces the launch of Grandparent Games. Grandparent Games is the only interactive resource offering grandparents with grandchildren under the age of three a place to communicate and interact together online. Easy set up and navigation makes Grandparent Games accessible to even those with limited computer skills. Via a secure Web site and easy-to-use web-based video and voice connection, Grandparent Games enables grandparents and grandchildren to be a part, not apart from one another’s lives. Providing one-on-one time to “play” together regardless of distance, the interactive site offers grandparents of babies/infants a way to interact through pictures and sounds. Then over time affords a learning source for young children as the grandparent direct the experience and become the teacher of vital information including math, reading, and geography. “In our increasingly mobile and far-flung society, grandparents and grandchildren frequently live miles, states, and even countries apart,” said Schank. “That’s where the internet comes into play. Grandparent Games gives grandparents the ability to be an intricate part of their grandchildren’s lives, almost as if they were together.” -more- GG page 2/2 Grandparent Games is a safe, protected site. All user-provided information is sent over an https connection, ensuring the data is secure. The site is structured for children to interact their grandparents by supplying only two pieces of information—the grandparent’s e-mail address and a display name that will be shown only to the grandparent during the meeting. The educational site uses exciting animations, pictures and videos to engage children from infancy through early grade school. Grandparent Games offers a variety of fun, interactive, and instructive activities including: . o Pictures for Little Ones—Moving objects that capture babies’ attention and make them laugh o Alphabet Fun—Children learn letters as they watch alphabet animations. o Reading Games—Animations and games expose children to fundamental reading activities like consonant-vowel-consonant combinations and beginning and ending letter sounds. o Math Games—Animations help children learn numbers, counting, addition, subtraction and simple multiplication. o Explore the World—Adults and children can explore the U.S. together with an interactive map, or visit Kidtown where grandparents can take their grandchildren to a virtual aquarium, zoo, concert hall, park, port, among other places. o Interactive Games—Children and adults can draw, type and challenge each other to a game of checkers. Grandparents and parents of young children can sign-up today for Grandparent Games and receive a free 30 day trial. Grandparents can stay connected for $9.95 per month or $75.00 a year. For more information visit http://www.grandparentgames.com. ### About Dr. Roger Schank Dr. Roger Schank is a grandparent, well-respected educator, and creator of Grandparent Games. Utilizing his extensive experience in learning sciences, he founded the renowned Institute for the Learning Sciences at Northwestern University, where he is currently the John P. Evans Professor Emeritus in Computer Science, Education and Psychology. In 1994, he founded Cognitive Arts Corporation, a company that designs and builds superior multimedia simulations for use in corporate training and for online university-level courses. In 2002, he founded Socratic Arts, a company devoted to making high quality e-learning affordable for both businesses and schools. Dr. Schank has taught at numerous illustrious universities throughout his career including Yale, Stanford, Carnegie Mellon, and the University of Paris VII. He was also a research fellow at the Institute for Semantics and Cognition in Switzerland. Dr. Schank holds a Ph.D. in Linguistics from University of Texas and is the author of more than 20 books on learning, language, artificial intelligence, education, memory, reading, e-learning, and story telling. He is also a fellow of the Association for the Advancement of Artificial Intelligence (AAAI) and is founder of the Cognitive Science Society and co-founder of the Journal of Cognitive Science. ###
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