Kids Who Go Bump in the Night

Common childhood sleep disorders can make a grandchild's visit stressful. Here's how to help everyone rest easy.

For a child, what could be better than a sleepover at a grandparent's house? Watching videos in jammies, munching on snacks, and enjoying a relaxed bedtime make for warm memories. But if your young grandchild has any of the following sleep disorders, a fun night could quickly turn into a nightmare after lights out. Here are some of the basics of keeping children with sleep problems safe and comfortable during a sleepover.

Night terrors, which occur most often in children younger than 6, aren’t the same as run-of-the-mill nightmares, says sleep expert James Maas, Cornell University psychologist and author of Power Sleep (Collins, 1998). “They can appear quite violent,” Maas says. “The child will start screaming, with eyes wide open, and sitting bolt upright in bed.” The good news is that, as unsettling and scary as they may be for you, night terrors don’t cause children any lasting harm. Similar to sleepwalkers, children suffering from night terrors aren’t really awake and don’t remember the episodes in the morning. During the terrors, remain calm and try to keep children from hurting themselves. Comfort them if possible, but shaking them or yelling at them to wake up won't help and could actually extend the episode and make it worse.

Many children have at least one episode of sleepwalking sometime before puberty, says Maas. “It’s fairly common, and it tends to run in families,” he says. Sleepwalking is not a sign of an emotional problem and — like night terrors — most children eventually outgrow it. If you know your grandchildren are prone to sleepwalking, take some safety precautions before they come to sleep over, Maas says. “Don’t leave windows open, make sure stairwells are blocked off, and don’t leave toys strewn about the floor. Remove anything the child could hurt himself on.” And if they do sleepwalk, gently guide them back into bed — most likely they’ll go right back to sleep.

Bed-Wetting

Bed-wetting (medical term: enuresis) is very common, especially in deep sleepers younger than 6. It’s caused by a lack of physical maturation — and not by insecurity, Maas says. “If it happens, keep calm and get the child back into dry pajamas and sheets,” he advises. “Don’t blame your grandchild — it’s not his fault.” But do speak with the parents about the issue — the more you communicate with them, the better prepared you’ll be for the next overnight visit. And if the child sleeps over often, you may want to invest in a waterproof mattress pad for your guest bed.

Sleep Apnea

If your grandchildren snore loudly or gasp for air during sleep, they may have sleep apnea, a condition where a person literally stops breathing for 30 seconds or longer. “Although not common in children, it’s more likely to happen in obese kids, or those with asthma or a deviated septum,” Maas says. If you notice a very irregular breathing pattern in your grandchildren talk to their parents — they should have a doctor check it out.

Many kids have trouble falling asleep away from home. “My 5-year-old granddaughter, Rosie, has given us some challenging nights,” admits Jerri Bowe, 71, a Chagrin Falls, Ohio, grandmother of 10. “She worries about having nightmares, and she can spend hours avoiding sleep — coming back downstairs time after time to get a drink or to go to the potty.” Exhausted from lengthy bedtime battles, Jerri has opted for the peaceful way out. “I put her in bed with me, turn on a movie, and set the sleep timer on the remote for 30 minutes. Cuddling and diverting her attention from her worries are the only things that help.”

When dealing with insomnia (or any other sleep issue), it’s important to maintain bedtime basics as much as possible, Mass says. “Any problem is exacerbated by sleep deprivation, so stick to a somewhat regular schedule,” he says. “Avoid caffeine and sugar, and don’t get the child wound up right before bedtime — spend some quiet time reading, taking a warm bath, and snuggling.” A stuffed animal, blanket, or pillow from home often helps to make an anxious child more comfortable. Keep the bedroom dark and cool, about 65 to 67 degrees. And if it takes listening to a CD, watching a movie, or lying with you to get them to zonk out, that's okay, too. “One night won’t hurt,” says Maas. “And remember that they all fall asleep eventually."