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Under One Roof
by Rich Thomaselli
Number of multi-generational households is on the rise
As AARP attempts to increase awareness of the grandparents who serve as caregivers, the number of intergenerational, or multigenerational, family living is on the rise.
According to the 2000 U.S. Census, 3.9 million households consist of three or more generations of one family living together. That number grew 60 percent between 1990 and 2000, and is expected to grow even more by 2010.
Of the 3.9 million multi-generational homes, 2.6 million are headed by a grandparent as head of the household, and 1.3 million are households in which the grandparent lives with his or her adult children.
According to the Washington, D.C.-based advocacy group Generations United, the reasons for the increase are varied:
• Financial. With many families being hit hard by the subprime mortgage crisis, there are cost savings to be had by eliminating a mortgage and utilities. Other financial factors include loss of job and parents returning to school for further education.
• Cultural. Immigration-related reasons and a religious or cultural belief in living with multiple generations.
• Individual. A belief that child care or elder care is the responsibility of the family, not a day care or nursing home.
• Situational. A widow or widower seeks companionship or is unable to live alone; or divorce that requires moving into a parent’s home with the children.
Yet multi-generational families face obstacles, such as the inability to place the children and elderly on health insurance policies or enroll children in school. The obstacles are even greater if the biological parents of the children aren't present and the family caregiver lacks a legal relationship, such as legal custody or guardianship, for the children for whom they are caring.
“It’s hard,” said Mavis Kindness, a grandmother from Yakima, Wash., who spoke at the AARP-sponsored panel discussion “Who Is Raising the World’s Children? Grandparent Caregivers: Economic, Social and Legal Implications.”
Kindness, who has raised several of her grandchildren, said that “as a caregiver, you have to go to court for anything you do with a child.”
In addition, there are the emotional challenges of living together as well. The middle generation may feel stressed trying to balance the needs of their parents and their children, according to Generations United.
But the group did offer tips to making it work, such as:
• Open communication on a regular basis — could entail family meetings or family counseling.
• Allow all family members to have separate and shared space.
• Talk about and make decisions in advance when planning to live together — including, but not limited to, the financial expectations of everyone involved in regard to household expenses and saving for the future.
• Discuss the desired length of stay — make sure everyone has the same expectation on temporary or permanent residency and is willing to renegotiate if necessary.
• Establish boundaries — respect privacy, individual needs, and parenting roles.
• Never make assumptions.
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