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Surrounded by all the grandkids is splendid, but there is something magical about sharing time alone

Okay. I think we are all agreed. The best thing you can give to your grandkids is not that MP3 player or an American Girl doll. It’s much simpler than that. It’s love and time.

Love is easy. It just flows out of our veins from the moment we see our grandchild — not just as a day-old baby but each and every time after that.

But time: That can be difficult, especially if you are still working and are, like us, a plane trip away. Sure, you learn to sign up for the airlines' e-mails that come mid-week for low fares to your city of choice the coming weekend. But that means 1) a Saturday-to-Monday-morning-only visit, and 2) spreading your presence and your love to everyone — grandchildren and children — in a very tight time frame.

But what those grandchildren crave is one-on-one time with you. They bask in that undivided attention — without a little brother running amuck or a toddler demanding a dish of Cheerios.

So with hundreds of miles dividing us and none of the grandchildren anywhere near an age when they can fly alone, we have devised ways to set up those much-desired one-on-ones, even on the 48-hour turnarounds.

Either at our house or theirs, my husband has become intimately familiar with the local hardware store. So he will set off with one of his grandsons in tow on a “treasure hunt.” Basically, they just hang out — looking at tools, deciding what size batteries they should buy, picking out a packet of seeds, wondering if they should get some extra light-bulbs. He’ll ask his little companion to look around the store and find out where the string is, so they can tie up the newspapers. When their business is done, they’ll drop into the local café for a sandwich or just milk and a brownie. And talk. And talk. And listen. And listen.

I like to whisper to one of my older (age 8 and 9) granddaughters, “Can we sneak away into your room for awhile?” What enormous smiles that simple request produces. We often start off with what’s going on at school but soon it can move into problems with a classmate or teacher or questions such as "How can I get Daddy to understand I really don’t like soccer?", or  "Why am I too young for a cell phone when everybody else has one?" After some empathetic responses, I gingerly offer some advice. And I am rewarded again with more of those big smiles.

It’s hard for our kids to carve out the time — those few hours when they’re not working, fixing dinner, doing laundry, playing chauffeur, catching up on e-mails from the office, helping with homework — to do the one-on-one. They have to make sure that everyone is heard, that everyone gets equal time.

And therein is the glory of grandparenting. We can slip away with just one grandchild at a time and without any envy on the part of others. Because they know that soon, they'll have their turn.

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