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We'd love some advice about whether we should be expected to give cash for our grandchildren's birthdays. One of my husband's sons has just sent us an e-mail telling us that his eldest boy, who turns 12 in a few weeks, has put in a request for cash to add to his savings. He likes to get expensive things and had been asking for them. His parents told him that if he's interested in expensive things, he needs to save his own money to contribute. So he's asked for money for his birthday. We usually purchase tangible gifts for the grandchildren (6 of them, ranging from 5 to 12, in three different families), so that they have something to remember us by, rather than just cash, which we believe is a bit of a cop out! Lately, however, one of the other families requested Wal-Mart gift cards, which we didn't think much of! What do the other grandparents out there think?
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lvbv0014
02/29/08 @ 07:50 PM
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With little kids I give playable/usable gifts along with something to save, like a silver dollar. I think that around age 12 is a good point to switch over to a small token gift, or maybe just a fancy card, along with cash, especially if the money is going into savings. Although I'm not there yet, the cash cards seem like they would be ideal for older kids. And don't worry. Your grandkids will hopefully remember you for something other than the physical gifts you sent.
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srhcb
03/01/08 @ 12:09 PM
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Thanks for your reply. As the grandkids get older and it's more difficult to buy appropriate gifts for them, I suppose it's not a bad idea to get them giftcards, or give them cash.
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lvbv0014
03/02/08 @ 09:54 PM
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Hi Lvbv
Not sure if my answer will help you because I really do not have advice...
I have been with our eldest grandchildren for the last 5 weeks so have seen what has happened to our gifts. (again)... NOT much... We live a day's drive away so do not see much of our family here. Thus gifts are not exchanged in person but we always try to give them something that they want... Problem is the kids have too much, never know what came from who and at times we have to ask where whatever the gift was ,is or if they got it (such as magazines)....
During the time spent here this time, I decided that there is a lot of ungratefulness and lack of parents teaching their children manners so our gifts may come to a stop and they likely will not even notice... \Not sure what we will do instead but it sure is not going to be anything that is not appreciated or acknowledged afterwards.
So it looks like I too am looking for ideas.
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Cathern
03/08/08 @ 08:29 AM
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I have 3 grandchildren, 2 of them I see quite often. I do daycare for a 3 year old maybe 2 days a week, And I get my 11 year old granddaughter off to school, and pick her up and do homework with her everyday. My grandson is 12, I only see him occasionally. But do talk to him as often as I can. This year for Easter I gave the older children ITUNES gift cards (which they love), and the 3 year old is getting a build a bear, which we will do together. She is getting into crafts. I love thinking of things to do with all of them.
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janeirene
03/21/08 @ 08:56 AM
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Hi! My grandchildren live in Az.and it is not possible for me and my husband to drive there. Therefore, we always send them birthday cash in the form of a money order that has to be put into a bank account that they had started. And like at Christmas,I send money to thier mom(My Daughter) for her to get them gifts from grandma &grandpa.
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coughlinmrtt
06/25/08 @ 02:00 PM
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I have a 3 year old grandchild but,a 14 year old son.high tech purchases are expensive!I don't have much family but, my sister comes thru with cash on ocassions,he appreciates her making his wishes come true!
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georgia7
06/29/08 @ 10:10 PM
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Victoria just turned one we gave her a few toys and opened up a savings account for her. so for now she will get a gift and we will also put money in her account.
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gparents1
07/04/08 @ 02:21 AM
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I have a 3 kids, my oldest is 14. It is so hard to buy things for the older ones because as they get ofder their tastes are pricier and pickier. I have told my parents to get them giftcards. They love it. My dad will get him a gift card to either Hastings Music Store or our local mall. I have seen them use their cards and they feel so grown up and important when they had over their card. I think it is definitely not a cop out, it's an excellent idea. Your grandson sounds like a wonderful child, being that he wants the money to go into savings. It's great that he is saving up for something big. My mom feels like you do. She really doesn't like getting gift cards, so she'll usually buy them some really cool shirts or shorts and give a gift card also.
Hope that help a little . Good luck!!
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tp551
07/06/08 @ 12:42 PM
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My son (15) and when our daughter was a teen enjoy getting non-store specific gift cards. Like visa / mastercard. These can be spent at any store for expensive items. My son just loves getting these and buying things that one person wouldn't be able to purchase for him. I would suggest those.
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Peanut5710
07/09/08 @ 08:58 AM
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For each of our grgandsons, we opened a 529 and deposit an appropriate amount when any holiday occurs. Most of the time the boys don't NEED anything - and we'll get a few books, a toy that may be of special interest - but always make that investment in their education. We are sure that the time we spend WITH them will be much more valued that "items" given to them.
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nonnie2
07/17/08 @ 02:27 PM
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We have 12 grandchildren! As they have gotten older we started taking them to dinner at a restaurant of their choice and than taking them shopping wherever they want to go. It is fun for us and gives us special time with each one. If they want to save for something special, we don't mind giving them cash.
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Nanaof12
07/26/08 @ 11:10 PM
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12
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For young kids we make contributions directly to whatever college savings plan the parents have established. As children get older we try to learn what, if anything, they collect. Kids seem to love collecting. So we get them snow globes, or coffee mugs of whatever small thing they love to collect. Since my wife and I both travel a good deal for business we can pick up things like that at virtually every airport. While toys and electronic gizmos are great (if often pricey) I have found that younger kids don't really appreciate them any more (or less) than something else. Tuning in to their collections - whether baseball cards or shot glasses - is a much more reliable route to appreciation.
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jshereshewsky
07/29/08 @ 11:36 AM
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I would rather give them some thing they want, Rather than some thing" I think they should have " that they don't use.
If I give cash, for a gift or a gift card. I usually give it in a special way with a small gift . I even give my grand kids an allowance over here. they have jars they decorated and when they do some thing for us ( we dn't pay them for every thing they do .) but we do give them opportunities to earn money over here. . They are over here alot. so there are many opportunities. Our 6 year old grand daughter likes to help her Papa with his plants and is quite helpful the 9 year old likes to vacumn and she loves to do steps it is worth a 1.00 to me to have her vacumn my steps ! A job I hate.!!! That way she can save for things she wants the rule is they can't have the" saved money, till it is $20.00" some times that is a half a year ...of saving , and by that time, they change there mind 10 times ,s to what they are saving for.
they like to buy things on their own so unless they have opportunities to earn money before they are 16 , or recieve it as gift. it is hard. Perhaps you c ould give the child half the money you intened to spend,.. and buy a gift you might WANt him to have with the other half.
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littlelotto
07/29/08 @ 04:10 PM
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Ordinarily, I prefer gifts when possible. However, when my grndsons graduated f rom highschool and were getting ready for college, I felt cash cards wwere more appropriate. For one, who was commuting to school, I gave a gas card. the other, who was going to an out of state school and not have his car, I gave a Sears card, feeling he would need more than he could take with him on the plane. I have two other young teenage boys that i do give gift cards to, not money. I do not know their trendy clothing choices, so feel this is better than giving something they would want to exchange. I only ask they let me knkow how they used it. It is less personal than a specific gift, but in my opinion, more appropriate than just cash that doesnt have any sentimental value at all.
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GmaBobbye
07/31/08 @ 02:45 PM
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