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I snapped at my granddaughter and now she doesn't want to stay the night with me. What can I do? I apoligized to her and told her the reason, but now I know there is no reason to have done that. What can I do to let her know it will never happen again?
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grammie4252
06/22/08 @ 03:04 PM
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1
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How old is she?
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srhcb
06/22/08 @ 04:29 PM
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2
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this is why some grandparents shouldn't have unsupervised visits with their grandchildren
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lumpy46710
06/22/08 @ 06:28 PM
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You did something that was not your norm with her. sit down with her and her parents and all of you explain that like her when she is having a bad day and has a fit adults do also. and that when we do we still love them and nothing will change that. Then perhaps have her say a special word to you that when your too upset she can say that will let you know your scaring her. and ALWAYS think before you react. It is sometimes hard but helps!
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Yhwnot
06/23/08 @ 07:39 AM
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Well personally I think there's nothing wrong with snapping at your grandchildren once in awhile. If they're doing something they shouldn't, if they keep asking for something or about something when you've already given them an answer-especially when they're over 5. Under 5 I try to have more patience, as well as with the grandkids I don't see everyday; but with the granddaughters who live with me they see me at my best and at my worst.
My oldest granddaughter has told me in the past when I was scaring her-mostly when her mom and I might have been having a loud discussion and not directed at her. But my grandchildren do get to know when they are not behaving properly-from me if their parents are not around. I try not to actually discipline them-although I will send them to their room and let their mom know what's going on.
Kids need to know that Grandma and Grandpa are human too-we have bad days just like they do; as long as it's not a constant happening.
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trekmate
07/02/08 @ 10:56 PM
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Snapping at anyone whether they are your grandchildren or not is normal. Everyone cannot be stress free 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
As for the comment about how some grandparents should not have unsupervised visits, was just out of line.
I am sure she will forget about it, have mom maybe come and spend a few hours with you and her together and see if you can talk with her about it.
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DemetrisVo
07/04/08 @ 01:12 AM
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lumpy46710 said this.
this is why some grandparents shouldn't have unsupervised visits with their grandchildren.what R U Saying
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savedareyou1
07/29/08 @ 11:14 PM
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well its almost funny. i know its hurting you but think about it. from the time they come into the world we deem them perfect in every way. them wam bang thank you man you snapped at her. it happenned to me too. she isnt mad at you . hello ,she still thinks youre mad at her and that she might do something else and get hollered at again.
lucky for me it was over in abt 10 minutes of hugs and kisses and lame excuses . kids are resilient. i dont know her age but give her time. put some humor in it and she will get past it way faster than if treated so seriously. we all do it. remember its them we think are perfect ,not us lol.
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gaga9
08/02/08 @ 09:08 PM
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Children have to learn to forgive. If you have explained to her that you had a bad day, or whatever made you snap, then quit groveling to her. (Not that you are, but don't) Continue to smile and be kind to her. She'll come around. As far as the "Unsupervised Visit" comment...some people just like to make trouble. Most Grandparents are more fit to raise the kids than the parents. At least we have experience!
see link
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SuperGrandma
08/02/08 @ 11:56 PM
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Your granddaughter will get over it. Believe me, she will need you sooner than you think. Don't let her have the upper hand, or she will continue on with your guilt trip. Don't let her.
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beguild
08/06/08 @ 06:29 PM
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You apologized and that should be a teaching lesson to your grandchild. Grandparents are not just playmates for their grandchildren. It is our job to teach them life lessons. Being around children after years of just being with adults can wear you down and maintaining patience all of the time is hard! Nobody is perfect, not even the child!
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almajo
08/10/08 @ 03:50 PM
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grammie4252 - I don't know if your grand daughter has come around yet but you do have to be firm from time to time - if you are still estranged (in a sense) from your grand daughter then you need to discuss the issue with her parents because they have a duty to you and their child to teach that child what "respecting grandparents" is all about. The whole issue can be blamed on the fact that true parenting is fading away. There are parents out there that do teach children the important things like morals, the difference between right and wrong and showing them the appropriate consequences for doing something wrong but for the most part it is fading away. Sad to say that my ex-husband was at one time telling our daughter to "go slap your granny." (My dear this was back in 1984/85 there abouts). First off, he obviously did not know my mother because my mother would not have taken that from her granddaughter. Secondly I asked my then husband if he had lost his ever lovin' mind and his response was "What did I do?" Well I told him that what he was about to do was get our daughter smacked by her granny - then I hit the nail on the head and told him if he wanted to teach our daughter that kind of crap then he had better remember that she will not be able to differentiate between this Granny and his mother so when our daughter went to slap his mother he best not lay one hand on her or even begin to raise his voice at her. So grammie4252 your granddaughters parents need to participate to solve this delimma.
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MimiP
08/12/08 @ 01:25 AM
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I agree that we, as grandparents are just THAT,,,notice the suffix,"parent" at the end of that word? It's just that. Grandparents are definitely not JUST playmates. Yes, we should be a soft place to fall for the children, but we must remember how impressionable they are and everything they learn from us will be remembered and used,,, positively , I would HOPE! Some kids get stuff from their grandparents that parents FORGET to teach,,, THANK GOD! ! !
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Meme123
08/21/08 @ 03:08 PM
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12
